the art of selling yourself short ZACH! « Thread Started on Jul 29, 2008, 3:50pm »
Leighton!
A young boy of seventeen with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes sat by himself at the edge of the lake at Vice Academy. He wore a pair of slightly loose beige pants with a green T-shirt and a black hoodie thrown over it, his sandy hair hanging down in his face like it always did. He stared down at the crystal blue lake with his legs curled up to his body and his arms wrapped around his leg. Just by looking at the boy you could see fear, no matter when you sat him his eyes always screamed out in terror or worry. Leighton liked being alone, it was peaceful and no one was getting into his business. He liked being away from is foster home because all his foster parents tried to do was help, while Leigh didn’t want any help. He wanted to be left alone and deal with his problems by himself. He loved his sister and all but she was just as annoying, then again she was the only person he could really talk to but he only wanted to talk when he wanted to, not when others wanted him to.
Looking down at his shoes, one of them laid slightly untied, and being Leigh’s luck he would trip when he stood up. So he grabbed the strings and began tying them up. But without realizing what he was doing, he began untying them again and re tying them. He looked at his feet and was confused. “Crap” He mumbled, realizing what he was doing, he tied it again and quickly removed his hands, fighting the urge to un tie his shoes. He hated being so weird and different, this stupid Asperger disorder made him repeat things a lot, made him very uncoordinated and effected his speech only slightly. He stuttered a lot but besides that he spoke like anyone his age would. most of the time he just wanted to crawl into a hole and be left alone because being different sucked. He got laughed at a lot when he was little because when the teacher asked him to recite the alphabet he would go ‘A B C D E E F G G H I J K L L…’ it was embarrassing and gave kids a reason to mock him.
Picking up a flat smooth pebble and twirled it around in his hand a few times, it felt slimy, but it wasn’t. He threw it into the water, the pebble skipped a few times before disappearing into the lake. He picked up another, not as flat and with slightly jaggier edges. It skipped only twice before disappearing. Leigh kicked some dirt under his foot and sighed softly. Was there such thing as enough alone time? Leigh loved being alone but somewhere in the back of his mind he wanted to be surrounded by people like others were. Then again, if he was surrounded by people he would probably have a panic attack. He was torn between liking where he was and hating it. Leigh played with the ends of his hair, he usually did that when he was feeling anxiety building up in his gut, it made him feel icky and scared. Leighton really just wanted someone to hold him and tell him he wasn’t a freak or a weirdo. But he would never admit that out loud, but it would be nice to have someone really care about him, and kiss him and hug him.
Re: the art of selling yourself short ZACH! « Reply #1 on Jul 30, 2008, 10:53am »
Ears pricked as the final bell sounded and slate blue eyes flicked to the front of the classroom, zoning onto the teacher and waiting for her signal. She waffled on for a minute or so more, but, after realising the class was becoming restless, dismissed them with a wave of her hand. The more robust, lively pupils had packed their bags long ago and had sped through the door at such a speed you would have missed them if you were to blink. Others lingered for a while, waiting for friends or taking their time to put their books and stationary into their schoolbags. Said others consisted of Zacharias Cain. He never liked to rush, it was too hetic, fustrating and you often made mistakes which, considering how Zacharias thought, was unacceptable. Even though he would never admit it, he still wished to gain a simple 'well done' from his parents. He only asked for what a parent should give yet they couldn't seem to manage this and, just like his brother had done so before him, Zacharias believed the reason was him and he hated part of himself for it. He shouldn't have to care about his parents as they never cared about him. All the same he craved praise and this is why he couldn't make mistakes. Mistakes didn't earn you praise. Zacharias cared not whether it was his parents or his teachers or his friends or even his enemies, he just wanted some. His body ached for it.
Zacharias paused to fluff up his chocolate locks before filing out behind the rest of the class. He slung his satchel over his shoulder before lifting the flap and rummaging around for his phone and the headphones that connected to it. The search didn't last long and soon enough, Zacharias had an ebony headphone in each ear, both allowing the bouncy tones of Alphabeat to seep into his head. The nineteen year old didn't really know where he was heading for he was just allowing his feet to carry him, not to mention he had his head down so even if he did know, he wouldn't have been able to see. It was a miracle he hadn't crashed into anyone yet. Perhaps everyone else was on the ball today, huh?
Those feet of Zach's just kept walking. Kept carrying him wherever they wished to go. Just kept him intune with reality. They took Zacharias away from the hustle and bustle of the main building complexes, away from the noise and away from the vast crowds. It was when the number of feet began to disperse into nothing, Zach finally looked up. Ah, the lake, what a good choice. Zacharias did so love the lake. The sounds, the sights, the smells; all were wonderful. Like the cafe and the solitude of his house, Zacharias spent a lot of his time here. He'd either be studying or reading or even just sitting; watching and waiting. It reminded him of his home back in Scotland for he used to live near Loch Ness and it was at Loch Ness that his brother taught him the basics of fishing. Thanks to his sharp memory, Zach could remember all his brother taught him and, as he scanned the undisturbed surface of the lake, decided he should put the theory to practice sometime soon. A faint smile flickered across Zach's lips as he remembered how he'd grown bored of his brother's lectures about rods and fishing hooks and waded into the water for a paddle. He'd managed to drag Jeremiah in a little later and they had returned home late that day drenched yet content.
Suddenly, something caught Zach's eye. It was an ever so subtle movement and even that only just flickered into his view yet, being the observent young man he was, Zacharias saw it. The magician snapped his head round, gaze settling on a boy probably a little younger than him, but with that baby face of his, it was hard to tell. Zacharias cocked his head as he watched the boy tie, untie and retie his laces a multitude of times. Hadn't someone in his class made fun about a guy a year or so younger than them who repeated his words and actions a lot? Yes, Zach was sure of it and this kid therefore, must be the boy. Zacharias just stood there, watching and as he watched he began to feel an odd sense of attatchment forming. How strange, he'd never ever felt so drawn to someone and yet this quiet male intruigued him. Perhaps it was because Zacharias prefered people who were quiet and somewhat shy or perhaps it was because the boy looked so terrified and so alone. Perhaps it was because the boy reminded Zacharias of his younger self.
"Would you like some company?" he asked quietly, approaching Leighton slowly, a pleasant smile upon his lips. "You just look....somewhat lonely."
Re: the art of selling yourself short ZACH! « Reply #2 on Jul 30, 2008, 1:19pm »
“Leighton, please talk to me, I’m here to help” The young boy said nothing. “I can’t help you if you won’t talk” He still said nothing. “Fine, we’ll just sit here, and when your ready to talk,. Let me know” Leigh’s therapist sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, her soft yet heated gaze staring at Leigh almost feeling like she was looking right through him and seeing all his worries and problems. “S-Stop looking at me” He mumbled, scratching his arms in the way he did when he was feeling a lot of anxiety in his gut. “Sorry” He said sweetly, looking away at the window where you saw a beautiful forest and below was a nice little river that flowed through most of the ton. “Why do you scratch like that Leighton? You’ll leave marks” She said softly, knowing loud angry voices freaked him out. “I-I don’t know, I-It helps I guess” He said, realizing the red marks he was leaving on his arm and stopped abruptly. He had a lot of scars on various places from scratching too hard, it flawed his perfect skin. “Let’s try to find another way to help, instead of scratching” She said, sitting up in her chair to talk to Leigh. He said nothing but nodded softly.
Leighton snapped out of whatever he had been in, a memory, but what a random memory. Leighton then realized he was scratching at his lower arms so much they would probably start bleeding soon. He stopped quickly and rubbed his hands together, trying to control his anxiety. He thought of something, anything to make him feel better. Nature, wind, water, relaxing things. The young boy ran his hands through his sandy hair and sighed in desperation to control these feelings. Why did this have to happen to him, everyone always said ‘I understand what your going through’ but people never do. The only people who can say that is people who have had their mother killed, been diagnosed with a stupid disorder that makes him stick out like a yellow duck among a ton of black dogs, and have regular panic attacks that leave him even more freaked out then he had been before. No, no one understood what h was going through and that wasn’t fair. Leighton wanted someone to talk to who could understand him and help him, not a stupid therapist or his sister or his foster parents. He wanted someone who would hold him and tell him he wasn’t a freak, that he was perfectly normal, sure everyone close to him told him that but for some reason it didn’t make him feel any better. He wanted someone else to say it, he wasn’t sure who but he knew there was someone that could make him feel a million times better about him self.
Leighton sighed again in attempt to stop feeling bad for himself, he gave himself too much grief and it wasn’t healthy. All it was going to do was turn him into an even smaller and weaker guy then he all ready was. Might as well call him pudding because that’s all he was these days. Leigh looked down at his arms again, bright red scratches that stung only a little, but he was used to it. He hadn’t been expecting a voice, but the voice wasn’t loud or scary sounding, it was soft, so Leighton didn’t jump. "Would you like some company?" He turned his head and saw another male, at least a year older then him. Leigh didn’t say anything at first, he just stared. "You just look....somewhat lonely." Leighton’s gut didn’t feel nervous or twisted, this guy wasn’t a threat, he was just trying to be nice. “ah, uh..uh.. Y-Yeah yeah sure” Damn his stuttering. He smiled weakly, mentally kicking himself for being an idiot and trying hard not to blush, this guy was being nice and he was being an idiot.